The Neglect and Disrespect of Our Dead

Linda describes the desecration of our old cemeteries, and compels us to ask if our society today has become numb to the tragedy.

I agree with your article, whole-heartedly and have been witnessing first hand the neglect and gross disrespect for the dead. At this point I have visited cemteries all over Western New York and have been getting told that my relatives are not in certain cemeteries when they are, and recently in my search for my families, I have found a horrible scandal from 1901 that occurred in Buffalo.

The North Street Cemetery, located at Masten and Best Streets, was dug up and replaced with a Military Armory. A man named Roland Conover was given $15.00 a body to remove 1,000 bodies to other area cemeteries. Not only did he throw our families in baskets and boxes, as reported by witnesses, he stole $40,000.00 from the cemetery, managed to get himself arrested for fraudulent bookkeeping and falsified records, larceny and more. I have just found that some of the bodies were buried in cemeteries while the stones are at other cemeteries. When I have approached not only New York State Cemetery Association, but the cemeteries, with this atrocity, I was told that I would have to get a court order to place the bodies and the stones together again. Now our family is all over the place, when originally they were placed in peace in one cemetery. Here's our local officials passing the buck, because nobody wants to take responsibility for what happened in 1901 and pay for their own mistakes. I don't care whose fault it is. It happened and let's make it right. What makes me mad is that not one person was willing to tell me anything about what happened to the bodies. I had to read the inscriptions of the stones being moved which set off signals something was wrong.

Some cemeteries are saying they had a fire so they don't have to look up records. Have all the cemeteries in Buffalo had a fire? I think not. So quit telling us that and find our loved ones.

When visitng these cemeteries, none of the rows are marked, the sections aren't marked, we cannot find our families people, let's make cemeteries visitor friendly, then maybe your job of answering phone calls will decrease when we can't find where they are buried.

When visiting cemeteries for over thirty years, it's amazing to me that no one wants to preserve their stones. Are we heading toward plastic stones that don't crumble and decay? The owners of these cemteries have been arrogant. A simple map with not only the sections but the rows and divisions for their cemeteries is all they need. While they do furnish an area map, you still end up walking hundreds of rows to find your families. In some cases the cemeteries are so large that one person is supposed to be out pinpointing graves, but you can never find them.

My father worked for the State Universtity of Buffalo all his life. He was operating a backhoe, while the campus was building a new dorm at Main and Bailey Streets, when he happened to dig up a cemetery. My father got so upset he had to be taken off the backhoe. He also started to have bad flashbacks and nightmares because he fought in The Battle of the Bulge in WWII. Bones, hundreds of them were dug up and my father refused to dig any further. Construction was halted until it was discovered that a Poor House Stood at the corner of Main and Bailey. Construction began and my father was ordered to load all the bodies and dump them in The Audobon Golf Course in Amherst. That's right a public golf course. They're all there. For those people that are looking for anyone that might have been at this poorhouse, your loved ones have been desecrated. This is disgusting. Golf anyone?

Recently five marble tombstones showed up at a local Halloween display with the name "Halleck". They were real. Where did they come from? A worker who was Native American became so upset at this that he did the right thing by calling the police and quit the show. W don't know what happened to the stones.

A little baby has been dug up from 1870 here in Springeville, New York, probably for artifacts or toys that may have been buried with the baby. Remember all the mummies stolen out of the pyramids. This is what is happening. People are falling on bad times and looking for any way they can to make a buck.

In Mount Calvary, Cheektowaga, NY, all the brass plates are being stolen because of their worth. For anyone who is burying a loved one today, keep your stones plain, simple, don't bury valuables in the crypts and don't spend money on the brass plates that can be pried off and stolen. I have seen expensive toys, vases and frames on top of graves that I realize are left in love, but are just picked up and taken by vandals. Avoid making your loved one's grave a target.

Reader Responses

05-13-2000, Timothy McGrath: "This is sad and outrageous.the cemetarys in tennessee are the same way. We need to do something about this."
05-13-2000, Sue Vandaworker-Cox: "We all need to get mad as hell about this. Let me tell you a little story about my family cemetery in IL. My family owned land Lake Cty.,IL around 1836. They worked the land and established themselves in the surrounding community. In or about 1873, they deeded the farm and a family burial ground to the Methodist Church. The burial ground was to remain forever a burial ground. The wonderful wisdom of the church sold it to a contractor for a mall. They said they looked for family members to get an ok on this, but never located any. It took a gal by the name of Nancy Burgess, Historical Society, in Lake Cty. to find some one of my second cousins on the East coast. Well, it was too late and 10 bodies had been uprooted. We now are going to rebury our relatives at the end of July. The bodies have been handled, studied and reports made. It's amazing just how far you can go if you have the right amount of money. I would like to know how they would feel if it were their mothers or fathers. I don't mean to ramble but I am so outraged by the descration of graves with no thought or caring. Thank you for your comments we all need to be angry about this."
05-15-2000, Geri Olbermann: "I totally agree, people today do not care; they are cold and apathetic about everything including the departed. When we were young, we visited the graves of long departed family members, weeded and tended their graves, and my father told us stories about each person, so that we could know them. We spent years, and money, writing to the N.Y.C. Archives trying to locate the death certificate of my husband's gr. grf. We lived in another state and finally my husband had to go to the Archives and find it himself. The Lutheran All Faiths Cemetery in Queens, NY had allowed a huge tree to grow out of the grave. The cemetery had cut up grave stones and used them for curbing throughout the cemetery. (One excellent reason for including information about grave markers in your genealogy records.) Many stones were overturned and scattered. The most disturbing to us was a thriving vegetable garden planted on top of a mauseleum nearby, with the name of "DIEDRICH HART (ANNA)". How gross can one get? We were told by one cemetery that after a certain amount of years they reuse the plots. When we buy a cemetery plot we are given a deed for that small plot of land and it should not be desecrated or disturbed by anyone, for any reason!"
05-16-2000, Michael Henline: "This seems to be a universal problem. Here in West Virginia I recently discovered a small family cemetery (about six graves), that had been the scene of a train accident about fifty years ago. The ground is covered with coal and two of the three visible stone markers are broken in two. Three bases are visible which don't match the visible markers. Another cemetery in a wooded area had a road bulldozed through the middle of it for a logging operation. One man gathered up his parents tombstones from where they were shoved over the hill by a bulldozer. The stones sit in his back yard because he no longer knows the exact location of his parents remains."
05-20-2000, Jan Bradbury: "I have found this site because I, too, am angry and suffering. I just returned from the Prock-Murray Cemetery in Polk Co. MO to find someone not only cut down the majestic cedars planted in 1865 and 1866 to mark, along with the headstones, the graves of my gg-grandparents. As if this was not bad enough, they dug out one of the cedars which had grown around the base of my gg-grandmother's stone, breaking it apart and casting it aside in pieces.The most horrifying part is they have dug into the space occupied by her coffin and body. I was told by an elderly relative from the way the trees were removed, it is likely they were sold for the lumber. Even though the cemetery is on private property no longer owned by the family, does this give them the right to commit such an uncaring and heinous act? None of the relatives in the area are young enough to take care of the cemetery as they once did, and those of us who are deeply live too far away to tend it regularly. The woman who owns the land, and always respected the burial ground as sacred, is now in a nursing home and her grandson is asking an exorbitant amount per acre for the field. I am sure it was he who cut down our trees and sold them without regard for the sanctity of the burial places-or for the bodies of the buried. I cannot tell if Manerva Jane's body was disturbed, or if the uncaring wretch left the bones exposed for the coyotes.I am outraged at this act, but at a loss as to what recourse is available to us at this time. If any one has any idea what can be done to prevent further depredations on our dead, I would sincerely appreciate an answer or advice."
05-22-2000, Sharon Wilson: "HELLO IM IN THE SAME SITUATION I LIVE IN VIRGINIA BEACH VE MY ANCESTERS WERE VERY PROMINIT IN THE AREA BURIED ACROSS FROM THE PRINCESS ANNE COURT HOUSE I HAVE BEEN TOLD THE HOUSE WAS BURNED DOWNED AND THE GRAVES ARE GONE NO ONE SEEMS TO KNOW WHERE THEY ARE BUT THEY HAVE A NEW LAW FIRM AND A ZEROS HOW ABOUT THAT THEY ARE STILL PROBABLY UNDERNEATH THE BUILDINGS HOW TERRIBLE I WAS TOLD BY THE LOCAL PEOPLE THAT THEIR ARE NO LAWS STOPPING THIS FROM HAPPENING SOMETHING ABOUT IF ONE HUNDRED YEARS HAVE PAST THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO DO WHAT THEY WANT SOUNDS FISHY TO ME MAD IN VA BCH VA"
05-24-2000, Carolyn Sink: "I, too, am amazed and disappointed at the number of old cemeteries that are left unattended. My cousin and I recently traveled a long distance to try to find a family cemetery in Corsicana, Texas. When we did locate it, it was so overgrown with thorny vines that we had to literally crawl to reach some of the tombstones. We could not locate many that we were sure were there because of the heavy overgrowth. I have tried to contact several organizations in Corsicana to see if there was any way it could possibly be cleaned up as a community project since some of the people buried there were among the first settlers of the community. Very few even answered my query and those showed utter indifference including the genealogical society that is located in the community. So like others corresponders, if anyone has any ideas who to contact about cleaning up a cemetery, please let us know."
05-26-2000, Ausde Moore: "I am aware of some of the atrosoties to our dead ancestors......... I know of a cemetary in Davenport, Iowa that is now a parking lot.......All bodies that were not claimed and removed were covered with asphalt........ Is there something that we can do about his seeming non-caring?"
05-31-2000, Ellen: "My husband & I will be scattered. This weird cult of the dead in the US repels us. In Europe, people were buried in common graves which were reused in time. The same w/ burial in churches. These were constantly reused. Now we talk of "resting in peace." Hello? Using words like "atrocity" for desecrating graves is grossly improper. Atrocity is hacking off kids' arms/legs in Eritrea. It's land mines blowing up people. I don't disrespect my mother 'cause I never visit her grave or decorate it. What I loved is NOT there! So what if bones are mingled. Does it bother the dead? Why should it bother you? Be bothered over abused kids, babies consigned to foster care for lack of adoption,nursing home people who never have visitors, lack of donated organs, blood shortages. Waste of energy & resources & misguided endevours to lavish on bones."
06-02-2000, Cynthia Ward: "The desecration of a burial ground is a heartless crime and the ultimate sign of disrespect for the dead. Here in Anaheim CA I work with a group of private citizens in an effort to restore our original pioneer cemetery. The grounds are kept fairly nice, due to endowment funding. However, most people do not realize that caring for the stones and monuments is the sole responsibility of the FAMILIES! As private citizens, we go ahead and attend to the stones of everyone in the park who needs attention, but technically, the groundskeepers are not allowed (by law) to even trim the weeds around the stones. If you know of loved ones buried nearby, please, initiate a grassroots effort to maintain the stones. In many cases, older cemeteried were not maintained by "endowments" because in the past the families always spent at least one day a year out at the "family grounds" maintaining the graves. If no one has been paid to maintain the yards, and if family members no longer shoulder the load, who will? If distance keeps you from doing the work yourself, try contacting an Historical SOciety in the area and ask if they would take on the graveyard as a pet project. Be prepared to offer a financial donation. Our Historical Societies are usually crunched for cash, and cemetery restoration is costly!(Ours is estimated to run into 6 figures, and it's been maintained all these years!)SOmeone ought to do something about this! That's right, it's us!!!"
06-03-2000, Tim Dennehy: "As a frequent traveler of old graveyards I have seen the total lack of respect shown for the dead. From my eMail address you can guess I believe the deceased are not at a loss to know they are neglected. Some are as mad as hell! Tim Dennehy's Ghost Quest Ghost Seeker society www.GhostQuest.com"
06-05-2000, Dawn And Dale: "We also have seen this happen in a cemetery in Warren,Ohio.Where relatives are buried.To top it off it the cemetery is owned by the city of Warren,Ohio.Most of the headstones are sunbk into the ground up to 3 to 4 inches.We have lived in Warren,Ohio all my life and never even knew that the graves existed.We found them by walking across the land and every place there was an indent in the ground there was a headstone.I have seen a couple of headstones around a pine tree where the headstones are sunk into the ground and broken into pieces.The city don't know if they have any plots left in this cemetery and we can see why.They have an old building there with trees and bushes growing out of the roof.And the same way with the mausoleums.My children like to call them castles because of the way they look.We are in the procees of taking photo's of the headstones and intend on trying to clean up the place,after we get permission from the city.One thing that really gets us is the way you can see how the people who take care of the place "cut the grass" just drive right over everything."
06-05-2000, Marcita R. Morris: "The disrespect of the dead infuriates me. In Louisville, KY, the graveyard in which many of my ancestors were buried was, in the last decade, involved in a scandal. Old burials were dug up and the bones left exposed on dirt heaps and stones were moved about seemingly at random. Two stones, belonging to my great-great grandparents, disappeared between two visits to the cemetery by my sister and I. Her (my sister's) husband's grave was moved at least twice. Come on, people. When I go to visit a grave, I at least expect it to be in the same place each time! The older graves, especially, are a part of our history and should be preserved. The philistines shuffling them around to their own whims should be shot!"
06-07-2000, B. Warner: "I was just advised by a woman who had assisted me on some research via Rootsweb that she had traveled to my area to find the grave of an ancestor only to discover when she got there that the cemetery was now a subdivision and the tombstones were all piled up against a tree. I intend to find out from her the exact location of the cemetery and subdivision and check this situation out! Thankfully, the particular ancestor she was looking for had a stone which was flat and was still in the ground undisturbed. However, it breaks my heart that these other stones which were lovingly placed by family members to honor their memory are probably now long gone and their graves will go forever unmarked. These developers are in search of the all mighty dollar and don't give a second thought to removing and destroying anything that gets in their way. They probably figured that all the relatives of anyone buried in that plot were long dead and no one would know the difference! Here's a link to a web site which documents damage which was done to another cemetery in Missouri. You'll probably need to cut and paste this link into your web browser. http://www.netins.net/showcase/andereck/bug/reward.htm In my opinion they should lock these vandals up and throw away the key! It's scary to think that there are people walking our streets who have so little respect that they'll destroy the graves of those who have gone on before them. They should be sentenced to mowing and cleaning up graveyards and digging graves by hand for the rest of their lives, in my opinion!"
06-11-2000, Glenda: "There are many horror stories of the desecration of cemeteries. I too can add my own to the numerous ones already posted here. The vast majority of people don't like to think of death, and cemeteries are a symbol of the ending of a persons earthly life. Most people have the attitude that they didn't know great grandma, or gg uncle Fred, so why should they visit to place flowers? However, they do assume that when they are gone, there will be this great monument placed at their head, and family members will come and visit to remember them. The vandalism of graves, while deploring, is an ancient crime. One that will not be eradicated. However a reduction in vandalism would occur if stricter laws for such acts are adopted and enforced. Even if the laws on the books today were enforced, there would be a drop in crimes against the dead. Our legislatures unfortunately consider this topic a low priority, in comparison to say gun control or drugs. There simply aren't enough people speaking with a loud and clear voice to bring destruction of cemeteries to the forefront. Gravesites are not just destroyed by individuals, but by developers. Their concern is the bottom line. What do they care if they pave over graves? Or dig them up while excavating? All they see is that office building or shopping mall. With the growth of towns and cities, this will continue to be a problem. How to deal with the problem? There are specific laws protecting graves from developers. Are they enforced? I think not. Teaching respect for the dead begins at home. When some people have no respect for the living, there is a slim chance that they have any respect for the departed. My 12 year son, who has followed me thru numerous cemeteries is constantly appalled at the conditions he sees. He demands that the people who desecrate graves and headstones should be thrown in jail forever. In public cemeteries we have 'uncovered' headstones that have sunk into the ground and overgrown with grass. There are caretakers paid to do this job! Who cares if this deceased person has no family to place flowers upon the grave. Yesterday, I was out photographing cemeteries. When coming upon one there were more graves with the funeral home markers than graves with headstones. Some of these markers were completely rusted so not even the name of the funeral home could be obtained from it. Seeing this, raises 2 questions. One, did the funeral home just not place the paid for headstone? Two, was the family not able to afford one? As long as there is no caring family close by to watch over the graves, vandals and developers will continue on they merry way.........destroying a piece of history."
06-18-2000, Anne Gokey: "My ancestress, a staunch Methodist, was buried in the church cemetery in Charleston. The land was turned over to a business who erected a building there. Also, I take offense at the people who go to the cemetery and plaster the stones with chalk in order to read the inscription. That damages the stone, rain water, dirt, atmospheric contaminants combine to erode further the inscriptions. Also Chlorox, scrubbing agents such as brushes, styrofoam cause further damage. This disrespect to our progenitors is terrible. Some sites have local ordnances, none of which are enforced. I have heard that the local sherrif's son was responsible for digging up remains for the jewelry - Then he left the bones exposed on the top of the ground. By state law, the bones could not be interred until an inspection had been done to prove the bones were not of recent demise. It was many months before reinterment."
06-23-2000, Glenn Bracken: "I too just had a sad and unsettling experience with old cemetaries. After searching for months, I finall y found references to, and maps (USGS link on RootsWeb) for two Darnell Cemetaries in Bedford Co.TN. Old family "home- place" cemetaries from early 1800's. Excitedly travelled there and found many other public and private maintained cemetaries in area, but not those two! Areas where they were supposed to be apparently private property & one owner not home. Didn't trespass there and never found the other. Came back home, did more research, and went back some weeks later. Homeowner home, not cooperative, allowed me to look on land - still not found! I assume it has been plowed under, or under a 20ft area of tree logs and stumps about 6ft high! No stones found. Got Lucky, found the 2nd one, homeowner cooperative-showed me where - said he wasn't told the prop. had a cem. when he bought the place. Land is rented out as cow pasture. Cemetary is now heavily wooded with thick undergrowth. Approx. 20-30 burials there and only ONE stone standing!!!! All other broken or pulled up and littered around covered with "cow pies". Found my GrtGrtGfthrs stone broken off, covered with leaves and dung. Three Union Civil War veteran graves there - all vandalized and abandoned. This is my GrtGrtGrt-Gparents homeplace, and burial ground. Amazing sense of loss, anger, and frustation. What can I do?? All other family has died or moved away years ago. I live out of state. HELP!!!!"
07-05-2000, Melissa Fleming: "I agree very much to your article. I am trying to clean up a cemetery that has practically been washedinto the river, and I am having very little luck!! No one will help me, and it's getting very annoying. I would like more people to understand the need for the cemteries to be cleaned up and to help in people's efforts to clean them up!!!"
07-20-2000, Curt Wright: "We have researched our family line for many years and in many different states. In most after 50 years if these graves are not marked they are fair game for anyone who wants to use the area. Family Cemeteries in the country out from cities are fair game and can be removed by land owners at their discretion. People I have also read where the WPA and other organizations have all ready done a lot of work to remove many cemeteries all over this country. All we can do is lobby for the right to stop people from doing such uncaring things. What is an acre of land compared to the thousands that farmers today use to grow. Looks like our nation has become a careless, lazy place. God help us."
07-20-2000, Karen Russell: "A community that does not care for, protect, and preserve the cities of the dead is diminished as a place for the living." - If you want to quickly evaluate a neighborhood look at its cemeteries. If they are deteriorated so goes the neighborhood. Politically Correct? Oxymoron�When has anything political ever been correct? Cemeteries are valuable learning tools. If you don't believe me just go record one. Case in point: A few years ago my friend and I got into visiting local cemeteries. At one we noticed a row of graves from one family, all with the same death date. Curiosity killed the cat so to speak and we investigated. We found out that they all died in the flu epidemic of 1918� five family members. Mother, father and three children of different ages all died on the very same day. Now if that doesn't solicit respect for their place of burial I can't imagine what would. Every cemetery has a story to tell and every story is valuable. These people are our past and our past needs to be remembered and respected. We as humans should be better than this! Even Elephants Respect and Remember Their Dead!!"

The Neglect and Disrespect of Our Dead

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